kashema

If you really want to know who loves you for you, start loving yourself.

First of all, I am loved. I am loved by amazing people who show it various ways, even if they curse me out, because clearly, I needed to be checked. I am extremely lucky to have people who are just a phone call or text away (and they know I am there for them, too). My self-love is a little trickier. Considering I am my biggest critic, the worst that others may have to say about me will never be a match for the thoughts that run through my head when I am self-analyzing. Never. Lest we forget, I am a masterpiece and work in progress at the same time in this thing called life. So in this self-loving process of mine, I realize that when I put myself and my feelings first, I bruise some egos and hurt feelings. Moreover, there is usually some push back, but I’m not here to cater to insecurities (especially, in the form of pettiness), which attempt to make me feel less than who I am and who I am becoming. No.

My self-love has become an issue for some because I am no longer chasing any –ships. Don’t get me wrong there are times, when a link up for clarity and understanding is needed. I just can’t deal with the unnecessary because people realize the girl who once valued -ships over herself no longer exists. I am accepting things that can’t be changed and realizing my “flaws” are not deficits, but part of my character that helped me to get this far.

Loving me was hard at first, but it’s becoming easier. I still have my “need improvement” sections, but I’m cool with that. How I interact with some people has changed or we no longer interact. The people who are (still) riding with me, I appreciate them more and more.  Thank you.